Kicking And Screaming

Have you ever dragged yourself somewhere kicking and screaming? I have – last night. Actually the kicking and screaming happened on the inside where “normal” adults do their protesting when it’s something you HAVE to do and CAN’T get out of. It’s quieter that way.

This being the holiday (and visiting) week of Idul Fitri (like the week between Christmas & New Years for us, only Muslim) we have the responsibility (and privilege?!) of visiting our Muslim neighbors’ homes for a short chat to maintain relationships. You basically go in, chat a bit, are handed a plate which you use to load up and nibble on an assortment of finger foods (mostly little cookies, cakes, nuts, that kind of stuff). They also serve you a beverage – a juice or something. You chat a bit, then excuse yourself and go to the next house. (A Muslim person doing the visit they would also ask for forgiveness for any wrongdoings “intentional or unintentional” from the past year.) Well, this year was the first time for us, as last year this time we couldn’t do it- we didn’t know enough language to visit anyone. Our neighborhood is not one where people sit around a lot and just chat (which is usual in villages). We wave when we pass by each others’ homes but everyone is pretty busy and the homes aren’t set too closely together so our lives aren’t as intertwined. I actually haven’t met our RT (neighborhood head) yet, though I will in the next day or two.

You might think: Why the stress? It’s just a chat! The reason for the kicking and screaming was really that I was uncomfortable with going into an neighbor’s home who’s a relative stranger– they are SO formal and I would SO hate to be disrespectful (the ones we know are friends and understand that we didn’t grow up with their traditions so if we mess up we’re ok). On top of that, if they don’t use the care that we do to clean dishes and cook food, we all could get pretty sick but to refuse the food isn’t too polite either! Talk about pins and needles! And then there’s the language thing – we are still learning so often there is conversation that we can’t follow – not too comfortable!

Last night we did the first of the visitations recommended by the people whose home we’re living in for the time that they’re in the US. It was a lot easier than I expected. We visited a man named Mr. Dodol (or something like that) and his family. We’d never formally met them but we walked up the path, took off our shoes and walked into the house. The kids paved the way – of course Julia got comments that she looked just like a doll (the blond hair always inspires comments like that), we were asked all kinds of questions about our kids (Julia at just under 3 years old is the same height as their 7-year old) and about the things they’re observing going on at the guest home. Then Mitchell took the cake – literally. There were probably 8 different “snacky” things sitting on the coffee table in the sitting room and he kept asking for more – I’d say, “No, you’ve had enough” and the hostess would say, “Silakan ambil” or “Go ahead, take more!”. This happened half a dozen times! (Talk about embarrassing if we’d been at home in the US but here kids –and especially foreign kids- can pretty much get away with whatever!) At one point in the conversation the man of the house asked Josh what his name was! Crazy! Well, it turns out their oldest daughter had lived in Singapore for 3 years and was looking for someone to maintain her English with so I was glad to extend the invitation for her to come and chat sometime. Though it was hard to “get glad” that I had to do this visitation thing, I AM glad I went and will do it more willingly next year. (Of course by this time next year it could be ANOTHER new neighborhood!) :)